Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
