I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
