I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
