I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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