singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
