i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We smell like vodka and hangover
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