i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
