well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize