just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
