y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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