just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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