But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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