am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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