He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
