Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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