i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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