with your own penis?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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