the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
