i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize