I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
