I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
