What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
