I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
