So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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