Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize