Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
