forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
