is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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