Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
