you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am naked and annoyed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
