I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
