If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
