is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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