non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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