What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
cat food counts as protein by the way
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
