at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
