The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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