Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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