Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
