Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
