I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
