Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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