How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He kissed a someone with a penis
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
