You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
