hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
