she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
