we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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