Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize