the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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