After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize