Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
