at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
