I think im going to throw up on grandma
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
