I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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