so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize