Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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