Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
