I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And then he peed in my hair
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