you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
