but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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