i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I want is dick and wine.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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