does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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