Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
