Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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