I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
