i permit you to call me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
