Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
