Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
