I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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