If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
