don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize