Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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