What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
