Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize