:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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