9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize