At least make sure they are 18
Why
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
