my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
